The Politician started a Twitter account and soon had one thousand Followers.
He tweeted: I hate all of you.
They voted him into office on a landslide.
He tweeted: CNN at 10. Watch me eat a baby.
They watched CNN at 10. He held a screaming baby by the ankle and ate it whole, chewing slowly. He drew a femur out of his throat, held it by two fingers, and said, “Where’d that come from?”
Someone tweeted: Did you see that Politician eat a baby on CNN? Unbelievable.
A follower said: You must be seeing things. Baby, swallow, chew, bone. It proves nothing.
The Politician soon accumulated 500,000 followers.
He tweeted: You all are a bunch of egg layers.
The great Twitter host tweeted back: We lay eggs, we lay eggs. It’s so true.
They voted him into office for a second term.
The Politician tweeted: On CNN at 10. Announcement on a bill to lay claim to the Moon.
They watched him say, “Who dares make a counter offer with so many powerful weapons on our side? Besides it’s a sweet deal. What would happen if aliens came? Then the world’s nations would have to deal with them!”
A tweet went out: This is the best thing that ever happened in my life.
The Politician tweeted: I’d eat all of you if you all weren’t so full of gristle.
A tweeter tweeted: He’s so purposeful. He’s so handsome. He takes the bull by the horns.
Another tweet: Let’s make him our king.
Another: Let’s give him our babies to eat and then he could be king and eat our babies.
Another: What babies? Stop that baby nonsense.
The Politician tweeted: I hate all of you egg layers.
They voted him in for a fourth term.
A tweeter tweeted: But his hair. Have you all seen. I don’t know if I can live with that hair. Let’s look for someone with better hair.
The Politician tweeted: CNN at 10. See my new hair.
One Comment